đ§ď¸ âď¸ Rainy Day Vibes at The Vasa Museet
đĽ RSO⢠Entry 001 - The Art of Looking Impressive While Going Nowhere
PROMPT: When the âHardshipâ Being Sold Never Happened.
Bonus Branding Opportunity.
You could argue the Vasa is the worldâs first, albeit failed, submarine. Instead of sailing horizontally, she sailed vertically. Somewhat of a success⌠I guess.
If they wanted to fully embrace the delusion, they could rebrand:
"The Vasa: Worldâs First Eco-Friendly, Fully Submersible Warshipâ˘
(Zero carbon emissions since 1628)"
â complete with IKEA sponsorship and sustainability buzzwords.
Hell, make it flat-pack: Some assembly required.
𼲠The Myth of the Warship.
Instead of half-arsing work in the park, I decided to visit the Vasa Museet.
I was so excited; here was a well-preserved warship, salvaged from the brackish water of the Baltic, on display.
From the photos online, I was sceptical, how a warship could be in such good condition? I figured, it must have been heavily reconstructed.
Turns out, itâs a spectacular failure on display. Not saying thatâs good or bad, but calling it a warship is⌠generous. And not quite accurate.
Itâs well-preserved because it never saw a single battle. The ship basically sank just outside the harbour.
I don't recall the exact time they mentioned, but letâs say it set sail around 12. By 12:20, the thing went down in a strong breeze.
It apparently didnât even clear one nautical mile. (Pause for awkward disappointmentâaahhh, yeah.)
Ornament Over Substance.
So much time and effort went into building this ambitiously imposing and garish ship, with its dark oak wood (I think) and approximately 700 ornate, brightly coloured carvings meant to create an air of decadence and grandeur.
It was designed to emphasise Swedenâs power and wealth, even going as far as displaying sculptures of Polish noblemen bowing in humiliation, just for no soul to ever see it in action. How humiliatingâŚ